make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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