Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
