watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Is Oprah even human
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize