Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
