watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so let's talk penis.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
