I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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