6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
