How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
