pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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