omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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