woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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