hotel room ftw
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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