I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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