I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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