We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
