I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
