she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
