So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
