This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
