I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
