As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
