we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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