So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
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I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
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she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Panties = found
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