I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
