You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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