Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
