I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize