Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
