You're my little dorito
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize