I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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