I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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