my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
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Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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