her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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