I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this