Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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  (503): She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true. http://tfl.nu/uoge
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (1602)
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  (805): View more from California

  the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie

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  (805): the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie http://tfl.nu/n8tx
  Replies (20) Good night (6342) Bad night (820)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?

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  (443): do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick? http://tfl.nu/6riv
  Replies (46) Good night (4039) Bad night (1217)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.

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  (604): I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey. http://tfl.nu/1r0k
  Replies (27) Good night (11486) Bad night (835)
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  (310): View more from California

  based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment

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  (310): based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment http://tfl.nu/srdh
  Replies (31) Good night (1294) Bad night (11873)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.

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  (609): One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em. http://tfl.nu/70jy
  Replies (35) Good night (6700) Bad night (975)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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  (856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2
  Replies (6) Good night (2515) Bad night (889)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child

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  (217): This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child http://tfl.nu/n5f8
  Replies (10) Good night (2121) Bad night (879)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.

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  (203): She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE. http://tfl.nu/wm9f
  Replies (25) Good night (3885) Bad night (999)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"

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  (701): Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..? (1-701): No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup" http://tfl.nu/9q23
  Replies (1) Good night (1647) Bad night (808)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.

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  (920): Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/df8w
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (1424)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil

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  (773): I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil http://tfl.nu/zlzm
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (341)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight

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  (780): My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight http://tfl.nu/tvtb
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (840)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them

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  (647): The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them http://tfl.nu/sne8
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (181)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.

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  (517): She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off. http://tfl.nu/rnkc
  Replies (1) Good night (261) Bad night (434)

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