i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?