He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved