The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
