I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
