Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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