Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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