I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
