I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
