I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
