I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
