he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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