i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well I just put wine in my tea
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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