Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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