is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize