My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
