I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
