So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
