"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
