with your own penis?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
