I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
