i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
