on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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