come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
