he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
