I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
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You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
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I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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