ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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