My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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