I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
