Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
